I wrestled for many years with a deep shame from being fired by a church. Failing at a ministry position is tricky. It is usually not a case of job descriptions and qualifications, but rather a personal issue. Ministry wasn’t just a task for me. It wasn’t just something that I got a diploma for…
I used to think that I could arrive in life by climbing an imaginary ladder of success. Striving to prove myself, I spent years trying to be a good Christian and live up to who I thought I should be. I had a deep desire to do what the bible told me and to live…
For so long, I thought that my battle was against the church leaders and others who had caused pain in my life. I was offended by the ways that they hurt me and the things that happened. The painful memories kept me trapped in the story with a bitter residue. I had felt powerless trying…
Breaking the Silence Years ago, when I was fresh out of bible college, I was passionate about God’s call on my life. I had a resounding YES in my heart and was willing to go wherever I thought that He was leading. One of those times led me to a solo move across the country…
Oftentimes when we tell stories from our past we talk about what happened to us – the events or circumstances that we faced and how we overcame them. Like a narrator, I spent years recounting the details of my testimony. But I had no idea that there was another version to my story that I…
When I began this blog, I was excited to share the amazing testimonies about how God woke me up inside. I had been writing the process down for years while the journey was unfolding, but when I started to share them thru my lens of today, I have been struggling with a disconnect. I realized…
As I slipped into the back, the speaker had already begun. I can’t remember the name of the class that night, but as I walked in she was telling a story about the Holy Spirit. Her eyes lit up as she recounted her adventures of hearing His voice so easily and simply, and how she…
Being Seen It had been a super rough season and I could feel myself slipping back into survival mode. I wanted to be “fine”, but I was not. Inside I was raging, and aching, and sad. Just so sad. I felt like I was missing out in life, like I’d lost my chance, and I…
As my heart becomes more awakened, so do my fears. And alongside the attempts to step out and risk again, to live daringly, I have faced a swarm of lies reminding me to sit down. What if they see me? What if I’m not good enough? What if they don’t like what they see? I am…
I grew up in the Church and I must have heard the salvation message hundreds of times. My parents planted the church in our home when I was two, and they faithfully pastored there for nearly 40 years. As a pastors kid, I grew up going to multiple camps, conferences, and mission trips. I was “saved”…